read. laugh. write. repeat.

I was recently reminded that life imitates art, and that I am decidedly more juvenile than I had thought.

The “art” being our first book, Spies Inc., in which a middle-school boy is sent on a spy mission by bully Biff Vermin to steal a top-secret cupcake frosting recipe from The Lunch Lady. I won’t give away the entire plot because YOU CAN BUY IT HERE WWW.STORYBUILDERSBOOKS.COM,  but here’s an excerpt: 

All the kids in school knew about the frosting, but none of us had actually tasted it. The Lunch Lady used it only on cupcakes that went to grown-ups. “I’m going to be a famous TV chef some day, geekhead, and that frosting will be my claim to fame,” Biff said, scowling.

 After promising to have the recipe by the end of the day, the boy sneaks into the school kitchen, where he dons a disguise and tries to swipe a tray of cupcakes out of the school.

Now, fast forward to a small-town shop in northern Michigan called The Cherry Hut. Here is the actual text message exchange between me and my neighbor, Margaret, who is also an adult and who, like me, has  dismissed Botox in favor of exclamation points.

MARGARET: I smell the cookies baking!!!!!! Sweeeeeet!

ME: Get the batter recipe!!!!

MARGARET: I will beg after I get my cookie or they won’t sell them to me.

ME: Say this: “I can taste butter, right? Or is it lard?”

MARGARET: Yes…good line…and cherries?

ME: We already know there are cherries, pecans and white chocolate. JUST GET THE RECIPE!!!!!

I added that last sentence for effect, but suffice it to say, another summer has ended without the recipe for the best cookie on earth that we have aptly named Lard-Butt Cookies. That’s a combined 7 trips to the Hut, and 7 conversations with the owners (actually 8 if you include last winter’s phone call when I inquired about them mailing me the cookies.)

Stop judging me. I know you wannabe Iron Chefs are saying I should just recreate the recipe at home from scratch. I know plenty more are saying we should just ask for the recipe. Duh? Then what am I supposed to talk to my neighbors about all winter? The weather?

Margaret still has one more chance. Her family will stop at The Cherry Hut on their way home at the end of this week. Here’s what I plan to text her:

ME: OMG!!!! Don’t forget to get the recipe!!! Those cookies are so, like, AWESOME!!!! Do you really think they use lard???? I will totally freak. Isn’t that pig fat???

I feel younger already.